Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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