I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Also, beer. Big fan.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
