apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
