Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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