I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
