I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
