by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
