So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Randomize
