Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
