Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
