She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
