i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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