so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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