Four minutes until I can fart!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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