She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
