Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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