I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize