I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
