If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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