Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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