Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
