It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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