how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
