he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My pussy is not your playground.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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