Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
