OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
