i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
