Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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