It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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