that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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