I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
