weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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