My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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