how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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