Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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