so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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