I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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