So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize