i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I touched a dick in church today
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
