i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
