I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
