He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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