I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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