Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Houston, we have a blender
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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