i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
