I got chris browned last night
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Less talking, more tequila
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
