How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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