and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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