David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
