I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
