I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
