girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
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