I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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