he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
