NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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