Define "chronic" masturbator.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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