So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
