I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
