you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
no you cant smoke seaweed
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
